THIS MONTH'S MODEL: Coronita Buckets, 29

OCCUPATION: cocktail waitress at Merv's Topless Bar and Gun Club, Route 507

STATUS: sleeping around

HOMETOWN: Traylor Park, Pa.

EDUCATION: Tammy Faye Baker School of Cosmetology, graduated Summer Cum Loudly

WORLD LEADER YOU RESPECT THE MOST: Kenny Kingston

FAVORITE COLOR: antique clear

FAVORITE ARTIST: Morrison, Cobain...anybody who's dead and stiff

WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT: Possibly my taste in men, but I did have my boobs done last year... again.

FAVORITE CAR: any one with a back seat

FAVORITE SONG: That one they play on Jeopardy, when the people are writing things you can't see til later.

TURN-ONS: Beautiful people who truly care about the little things, like money.

TURN-OFFS: Guys who smoke after sex, then want me to 'blow it out'.

MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT: Getting comfy to watch a good porno, and seeing it's one of MINE!

HOBBIES: Eating lunch, breathing slowly in and out, looking in the mirror, tossing my hair around, watching the day go by.

POLITICAL IDEOLOGY: Not fussy- if there's a party happening, count me in!

FAVORITE PASTIME: Consoling mankind... if one of our paying customers has a problem that's been building up inside (if you know what I mean), then I'm all fours. I mean ears...

FUTURE PLANS: The future is so far away, I'm not planning anything until I get my drycleaning back and I know what I can wear.

FAVORITE SAYING: "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes a dent in a bitchin' bod!"